by: Amber Waddy
We all try our best to act like one of the crowd and do what we can not to offend or upset others.
Sometimes, however, we don’t always see what we’re doing until it’s pointed out to us. Everyone has behavioural issues to some degree, but for a few of us it’s extremely prominent. Learning what could be behind your actions brings you one step closer to controlling them.
Here are just a few examples of things you may find yourself doing and what could be behind it.
Issue No. 1 – Acting Up In Public
We all have that friend who acts the fool and does things without doing much thinking. The issue with this is that it could lead to a lot of rushed decisions and frosty encounters with those of a mellower disposition. Most of the time it is in a perfectly innocent vane but you may occasionally see it being done as an act of retaliation.
This isn’t always the case, but there are a large number of people who exaggerate their feelings or lie about them, all together, in order to cover their true feelings and intentions. A loud personality can be a sign of a cry for help, or be a mask for their sadness. Perhaps take them to one side when they’re calm, and constructively discuss their behaviour and create action points for them to work through when they can.
Issue No. 2 – Lack Of Interaction
There are some people who tend not to talk much in any social situation, not even around all their closest friends. This is sometimes down to a simple character trait, but often it’s a sign of an underlying issue that hasn’t been addressed yet. In some cases, a number of individuals find it hard to get out of the house by choice.
This could be something as basic as their personal life not being what they wanted, in which case they just need an ego boost. However, this could be more deeply embedded in their heads and be manifesting itself into social anxiety or even acrophobia. Baby steps are a must as jumping in too deep too quickly, can be very damaging. Short walks can be a good start to their recovery, as well as hobbies they can get stuck into such as playing guitar.
Issue No. 3 – Being Overly Clingy
In the same respect as being too distant, being too social can also be a sign that things aren’t what they should be. Hanging out with someone is one thing, but if you find they can’t go a week without seeing you there may be something going on that you aren’t aware of. This can make both parties in the matter feel quite guilty, if a hangout session cannot be honoured.
The need for someone by their side could be a sign that they’re feeling especially lonely, either due to a lack of a relationship or their social circle being too small. They may also have something specific on their mind and are trying to find the courage to share. The best thing for it is to have a day with just the two of you, with a movie, some nibbles and a blanket. The more relaxed they are, the more likely they’ll talk.
Issue No. 4 – Erratic Procrastination
We’re all guilty of a little bit of back and forth when it comes to making certain choices. It’s simply part of the selection process. That said, some people think far too much about the ins and outs of every choice they make which can be very stressful and warp their overall mood. Regret is often a common by-product of this vicious cycle.
Uncertainty plays a huge part in all this as they may not feel comfortable with their own decisions, either because they have a history of poor choices, or because they’re scared of what the outcome will be. This is a trait seen in many highly organized individuals, and the only way to curb it is to do a pros and cons list for everything they do. Bigger decisions should also be talked out before taking any action.
Issue No. 5 – Repeating Stories And Quotes
On the face of it, this is an ordinary thing a lot of us do from time to time. There is a subtle difference though between reminiscing a fond memory and repeating the past on multiple occasions. If someone remembers something from a few months ago that everyone almost forgot about that’s fine, but if someone is repeating the same story on a monthly or even weekly basis then it’s a cause for some concern.
There are a number of reasons why this would happen. One of the more common reasons is to recall happier times, to improve their overall mood, if they’re not in the best of mind states in the present. Many people suffering from depression do this, in order to keep their sanity in check. However, doing it too much, can make life even more depressing. If you can see one coming, just stop them in their tracks, and say you remember hearing it. It tends to stop after that.
About the Author
Amber Waddy is a writer and marketer for Klearminds, counselling and psychology experts with clinics across London. Their services include behavioural therapy, stress management and various types of psychotherapy.
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